dispatches from hell

aka being a writer is hard / crying / whining / hold me please

I have so much to tell you!

I know I’ve been MIA, but it’s because I’ve been working, like all the time. And also because I’m a neurotic maniac when it comes to any sort of writing. Every time I thought about writing a newsletter about Love is Blind UK or how deliciously camp the new season of Selling Sunset is, I just sort of panicked like, maybe let Roxane Gay handle the cultural criticism and go lay down, babe. (Please don’t unsubscribe me for being the worst.)

My writing anxiety is ramped up right now because I’m working on my second novel. There are just like A LOT of blank pages. And facing all my inadequacy and confusion in this early draft, combined with not having enough time to work in long stretches, it’s making me nuts, and I sort of fall into patterns of avoidance.

Here’s a neurotic thing I do, maybe you can relate: I set my alarm for 5:00 a.m. with plans to start my day with writing pages and pages of brilliance before the rest of the world gets a hold of me (work, the kid…