trash i bought in the middle of the night that may or may not make great holiday gifts

plus i finished my revision so I can watch the crown!

There’s nothing I love more than being wide awake at 3:00 a.m. I bought a book light so I would read instead of scrolling my phone for the hour(s) I’m lying there wide awake, but sometimes the Instagram call is just too strong. Look, they know me, they know what I want. Products I don’t need. Clothes that will fit strangely because I’m not twenty-two. A sticker of Phil Collins.

literally as i’m roasting myself for buying this, i immediately added to cart this one.

But the holidays are upon us and perhaps some of the shit I bought will make the perfect gift for someone in your life. Don’t believe me? START WITH THIS SQUISHY PIG, BISH.

SQUISHY PIG TOY

I saw this on one of my meme accounts. They threw the squishy pig out a window and it went SPLAT on the sidewalk. I thought, I would like to throw this at my son. And on Christmas Eve, I will. (Don’t tell him.) I also want to throw it out a window and see what happens. (Will circle back with an update.)

These review images are giving me life.

THE BOOK OF UNUSUAL KNOWLEDGE

Listen, you …