confessions of a middle-aged debutante
omg you guys pub week was so fun!
It’s no secret that things have been tough around here as of late, but can I please tell you that all it took was the culmination of a lifelong dream celebrated by an amazing community of people that I’ve built over the course of twenty-five-ish years to shock me right back to life?
Honestly, wtf are celebs complaining about, being famous is so fun. My debut novel was published this week and I was minorly important for a couple of days and I’m like, yes, please, I’m ready to go to parties and sign books and never scrub a toilet ever again.
I woke up on Tuesday morning, planning to do one of those TikTok / reels where I’m like “come with me on my pub day,” and I show myself walking my dog, driving my kid to the gym, and getting a bagel, but I left my phone in the house during the dog walk, so that was the end of the reel of it all, which, honestly, was a relief because editing??? So for our purposes, pub day started at Pizza Lobo in Andersonville where I went with my BFF
and his husband Andy for lunch before we walked to Women & Children First to visit FAN FAVORITE in the wild for the very first time.
We attempted to take some video footage of me going into the store and seeing the book for the very first time, and wow, they really shouldn’t give middle aged people this technology. We don’t know how to use it and all the cool queers of Andersonville were embarrassed for us. But Sarah and her WCF crew were lovely, and I signed copies and saw my little book in the window and it was just the best feeling to be surrounded by people who love me in my hometown bookstore and of course I picked up some summer reading as well!
Then I kidnapped my bestie
and we popped over to the new Barnes and Noble in Wicker Park, and, you guys, that store is gorgeous. They had one copy of FAN FAVORITE, which Elizabeth promptly sold to the sweetest gal that we ambushed as she went by. “DON’T YOU WANT TO BUY MY BEST FRIEND’S BOOK?!?!?!??!” Elizabeth asked her, and honestly, Elizabeth is charming as hell and hard to say no to, so buy it she did. Then it was time to go to my P A R T Y ! ! ! ! I’m super #blessed to have a bestie in the restaurant industry so my girl Jena helped me throw the rooftop cocktail party of my pub day dreams! The amazing Book Cellar came to sell books and people from all over my world came to toast my big moment and my heart hasn’t been that full in forever.Truly it was amazing.
Here I must pause and say, I may have been unlucky in love, but I’m unbelievably lucky in friendship. I have the most amazing people around me and I am so grateful. Also, it’s awesome if your friends are also storyteller / comedians because they give great speeches. I have to include an excerpt from Elizabeth’s that truly made me feel seen.
Adrienne and I have been creative partners, event coordinators, and BFFs for a while now. I have seen her struggles and really want to take a moment for us to honor this. It’s not easy to be a single mom while co-parenting with a person who is unstable. This was all too relatable to me. That's why I think it’s super important to understand that this was the background in which Adrienne wrote this book while also working full time.
Not only have I been a single mom, but I came from a single mom family. It’s a lot of pressure with almost no support. This is not to make anyone feel bad, but as far as single momdom goes — appointments, homework, chores, shopping, managing, figuring out what dollars to move where so the lights stay on, moral guidance, holding the space for the emotions, and also taking care of your friend group and other relatives, too. It’s not easy and most people just assume you’ve got it! Rarely does anyone recognize the fear, insecurity, loneliness, pressure of making major life decisions about someone else’s life without a sounding board, the things you have to sacrifice to make sure your tiny family is ok, and let’s be real, lots of single moms forget their dreams because the kids come first. Adrienne always says that above all else, she was Max’s mom first and that’s why I think it’s important to understand why this book is truly something special.
When I was alone raising my kids, I was hand washing my underwear over dirty dishes when I often couldn’t get to the laundry. How the hell could a person write a whole novel, create a universe, create characters and scenes, and then shop it around until we get to hold it in our hands? HOW???
Ugh! I’m already in tears again and I still have to tell you about last night! The Book Cellar hosted me for a book chat and not only did they get an AMAZING cake, but also my kid was there and he was really proud of me, which made my heart grow three sizes. Also, Jeremy is basically Chicago’s own Andy Cohen, his jokes were lit, his questions were fire, and we had a blast. Honestly, I thought there would be a few people there (basically my family and Jeremy’s?) but the room was packed! GAH!
TLDR: thank-you-thank-you-thank-you-thank-you to everyone who made this week so special!!!! Honestly, it was exactly what I needed to believe in the goodness and possibility of the world around me again! I’ve been through the ringer in ways that have just felt like “just make it through the day,” “just go to work, get the groceries, make dinner, clean up dinner, just keep going,” and I haven’t felt much like myself. I know there’s this vibrant, fun loving person inside of me, and I really felt like her this week, so thank you, thank you, I’m so glad to see her again.
happy endings!
please leave a review of FAN FAVORITE on goodreads or amazon — respect must be paid to our algorithmic overlords!!!
I am available to come to your book clubs and if you liked Jeremy’s interview, he will come and host too — that girl loves a stage!!!
I’ve been so lucky to do some interviews, especially this one with
that I hope reminds people to stay in the game!
I am so charming! 🤣
PS got my copy in the mail today. Can’t wait to to start it!